Anaconda (2025) Review: It Was Sss... Sizzling Fun!

I have been a fan of Jack Black ever since I was a little kid and saw Gulliver's Travels back in 2010. Of course, his iconic voice as Po from the Kung Fu Panda franchise did nothing more than to help me watch more of his flicks.

Naturally, when the trailer for Anaconda dropped, I was quite excited. Contrary to popular opinion, I have loved the Anaconda franchise from its inception. In fact, The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (which has a rating of 4.8/10 on IMDb) remains my favorite of the franchise. Therefore, it would be unfair of me to review Anaconda (2025), and that's how I found myself with a tub of popcorn and some Coca-Cola, watching the new Anaconda movie.

The Plot: It Was Hiss-terical

Apologies for the puns (and more as you read on below). But the plot of Anaconda (2025) is truly hysterical in all the best senses. I mean, the start of the plot was a bit slow-paced since Sony wanted to showcase the mundane lives of our main characters.

The part where Doug refuses to direct the Anaconda was the most frustrating part of it all. Although it was used as an emotional scene to really nail the idea of "follow your childhood passion", it felt unnecessary, especially since the movie was all about the things that went wrong while following their childhood passion.

However, once Doug said "Yes" to directing the film, it was an uphill drive into the realm of comedy, chaos, and reptilian love that I had not expected from this 𝗋̶𝖾̶𝖻̶𝗈̶𝗈̶𝗍̶ spiritual sequel. The excitement was visible, and I found myself vibing with the cast as we hopped on the boat deep into the Amazon jungle.

Of course, Heitor and Santiago were two of my favorite characters, but unfortunately, both died young (except Santiago, who is seen alive in the post-credit scene). However, the chemistry between Paul Rudd's Griff and Jack Black's Doug is what keeps the movie afloat.

The Chemistry Between Doug and Griff Was Sssmooth

If I’m being honest, seeing Paul Rudd and Jack Black sharing a cramped boat is the cinematic equivalent of a warm hug—if that hug also involved a 40-foot predator trying to turn you into a snack. Rudd plays the cynical "straight man" to Black’s chaotic, over-enthusiastic director energy with a precision that only these two could pull off.

Their banter feels less like a scripted Hollywood movie and more like two friends who accidentally wandered onto a set and decided to just "vibe" their way through an apocalypse. The scene where Griff tries to explain the logistics of snake-safety while Doug is busy trying to find "the perfect lighting" for a death scene was peak comedy. It’s that meta-commentary on the film industry that makes this more than just your average creature feature; it’s a love letter to the absolute madness of indie filmmaking.

The Snake: A Scale of Epic Proportions

We have to talk about the star of the show—the big guy himself. After the questionable CGI of the early 2010s, I was worried Sony might go too "realistic" and lose the charm. Thankfully, they struck a balance. The Anaconda in this flick has a personality that rivals some of the human cast. It doesn't just bite; it performs.

There were moments where the suspense felt genuinely earned, harkening back to the 1997 original. But just when you think you’re watching a serious survival horror, Jack Black drops a one-liner that deflates the tension in the best way possible. It’s a delicate tightrope walk between being terrified and wheezing with laughter, and the director nailed it.

The Verdict: A Tail to Remember

While the pacing in the first act was a bit of a "crawl," the payoff in the jungle more than makes up for it. The action sequences are inventive, the deaths of Heitor and Santiago (RIP to a real one, even with that sneaky post-credit teaser) felt impactful, and the ending was the perfect blend of chaos and heart.

Is it going to win an Oscar? Probably not. Is it the most fun I’ve had with a bucket of popcorn since Kung Fu Panda 4? Absolutely. If you’re a fan of the franchise or just a fan of seeing Jack Black be his most Jack Black self, this movie is a slithering success.

Final Score: 8.0/10 (One point added specifically for the Santiago post-credit reveal).