If you have been following the Coen Brothers’ journey, you would have likely stumbled across their various projects such as Fargo, The Big Lebowski, No Country for Old Men, True Grit, and more.

You must also know that there are very few survivors in any Coen Brothers’ movie because the world is simply too brutal. From retributions to a bag full of vengeances, it is tough to survive in the Coen Brothers’ West out there. Similar to how to survive a Quentin Tarantino film, we also decided to create an unofficial guide on how to survive a Coen Brothers’ film.

Once again, let us take a deep dive into the world of the Coen Brothers as we try to navigate how to survive a Coen Brothers film. Pro tip: Don’t take that unattended bag of money.

Rule 1: No Cursing!

If you want to live and survive the day, make sure not to curse anyone in a Coen Brothers film. Not even the side characters of the goofy secondary antagonist. Cursing equals ego hurt, and ego hurt equals death in the realm of Joel and Ethan Coen.

The languages are twisted out here in the West, and misunderstanding or misinterpreting a phrase can lead to some Mexican standoffs and a rain of bullets, something that you wouldn’t want to be a part of.

Rule 2: Do Not Mix Philosophy and Competence

Just because someone knows what they are talking about, in a Coen Brothers movie, no one actually knows what they are talking about. Even cynical or extremely philosophical characters like Sheriff Ed Tom Bell in No Country for Old Men sound wise and old. However… he is just old.

There is no way to stop the violence coming your way, and no matter how much advice you are given, nod politely, say yes, and move on while looking over your shoulder. Don’t trust the wise old guys! They are as clueless as you.

Rule 3: Have Some ‘True Grit’

Much like the character of Mattie Ross in True Grit, who has precision to the maximum level and has the power to look her superiors and demand her rights, you have to be strong, confident, headstrong, and have unparalleled focus on your end goal.

Be it revenge or money or personal agendas, having the courage and the spirit of ‘True Grit’ is a must for survival in a Coen Brothers movie.

Rule 4: Understand the Anton Chigurh Principle

In any Coen Brothers’ movie, if a man with a strange haircut looks at you, run. Having some twisted or cryptic philosophy, usually accompanied by a strange weapon, your best bet is to run straight back home, probably somewhere where he cannot track you.

Do not ask him questions. Do not try to debate with his philosophies; the man (often going by the name of Anton Chigurh) is fate incarnated, and your fate will be decided on the basis of a coin toss.

Rule 5: Criminals Are Not Smart

Believe it or not, do not engage with the mafia or the lowlifes because they are severely incompetent. The criminals in the Coen Brothers’ universe are dumb, stupid, easily distracted, and prone to extreme emotional outbursts.

Leaving behind evidence, letting their plans fail spectacularly, and royally screwing up are some of the tactics that you can expect from a Coen Brothers’ criminal. Whatever happens, do not associate yourself with these criminals, or it will be your neck on the noose while another dumb sheriff watches and smiles, thinking they have solved the case.

Rule 6: Do NOT Touch The Money

If you have seen No Country for Old Men, you know what we are talking about. Stumbling upon a briefcase full of cash is not something that you encounter every day, but in a Coen Brothers movie, it’s probably for the best.

The briefcase full of money will activate the inner Llewelyn Moss inside you, but do NOT take the cash. There’s an Anton Chigurh behind you, and he is tracking every last cent. Earn money the true way, and maybe you can avoid the hassle of tossing over the briefcase between the U.S.-Mexico border.

So, there you have it. An unofficial guide on surviving a Coen Brothers’ movie. Stay secure, stay safe, and do not open the door for an old man with some wise ramblings.