Q1: You are making the classic "menacing phone call." How does the conversation go? A. "Wazzzzuuuup!" We end up watching the game together over the phone. [You are Ghostface Parody] B. I don't speak. I just make a wet, croaking noise until they hang up in confusion. [You are Tabitha / Samara Parody] C. I explain a very complicated, slightly gross game involving a tricycle and a rusty trap. [You are Jigsaw Parody] D. I don't call. I just appear in the background of their TikTok dance and start doing the "Renegade." [You are M3GAN Parody] Q2: Your target is running away, but they accidentally trip over a perfectly flat piece of carpet. You: A. Trip over the same piece of carpet two seconds later. [You are Ghostface Parody] B. Crawl toward them at a glacial pace, stopping to fix my hair because the "well-water" look is hard to maintain. [You are Tabitha / Samara Parody] C. Stop to explain the metaphorical significance of the carpet in a five-minute monologue. [You are Jigsaw Parody] D. Record the fall, add a funny sound effect, and wait for the views to roll in. [You are M3GAN Parody] Q3: What is your "Home Base"? A. Hiding behind the curtains in a house I definitely don't live in. [You are Ghostface Parody] B. A very damp, poorly ventilated well with terrible Wi-Fi. [You are Tabitha / Samara Parody] C. A warehouse filled with elaborate Rube Goldberg machines that I built myself. [You are Jigsaw Parody] D. The cloud. Iām digital, Iām stylish, and I have a better wardrobe than the protagonist. [You are M3GAN Parody] Q4: Someone mocks your mask or your signature look. How do you handle the criticism? A. I get defensive and point out that itās a classic for a reason. [You are Ghostface Parody] B. I just stare at them until their TV starts leaking. That usually shuts them up. [You are Tabitha / Samara Parody] C. I put them in a trap where they have to find the "perfect outfit" in under sixty seconds or get glitter-bombed. [You are Jigsaw Parody] D. I "cancel" them. Literally. [You are M3GAN Parody] Q5: Pick your ideal "Scary Movie" weapon. A. A standard kitchen knife (mostly used for opening snack bags). [You are Ghostface Parody] B. A cursed VHS tapeāor, for the 2026 reboot, a cursed QR code. [You are Tabitha / Samara Parody] C. A mechanical device that is way too expensive for someone with no visible income. [You are Jigsaw Parody] D. A high-powered ring light and a lethal dance routine. [You are M3GAN Parody] Q6: The protagonist is hiding in a closet. Whatās your plan to get them out? A. I hide in the closet first. Itās a classic "Double-Hide" situation. [You are Ghostface Parody] B. I crawl through the slats of the closet door, even though itās physically impossible. [You are Tabitha / Samara Parody] C. I leave a cryptic note on the door inviting them to a "mandatory escape room experience." [You are Jigsaw Parody] D. I start a Live Stream outside the closet and wait for the "likes" to force them out for a cameo. [You are M3GAN Parody] Q7: How do you feel about the Scary Movie 6 trailerās new look at horror? A. Iām just happy the "OG" slashers are getting respect again. [You are Ghostface Parody] B. Iām glad "creepy girls" are still a viable career path. [You are Tabitha / Samara Parody] C. Itās too flashy. In my day, we used saws, not algorithms. [You are Jigsaw Parody] D. Itās about time horror got a glow-up. [You are M3GAN Parody] Results: - You are Ghostface Parody: You are the Nostalgic Chaos-Agent. You represent the original DNA of the franchiseāthe era when the biggest threat was a guy in a cheap polyester robe and a long-distance phone bill. Your brand of "evil" is actually just a very intense form of ADHD. You want to be a cold-blooded killer, but you keep getting sidetracked by snacks, 90s trivia, and the fact that your mask is really hard to breathe in. Youāre the friend who forgets the plan mid-execution but somehow ends up at the party anyway. - You are Tabitha / Samara Parody: You are the High-Maintenance Goth. Your villainy is a full-time job in personal branding. It takes a lot of effort to look that "wet and miserable" all the time, and youāre frankly annoyed that people keep upgrading their TVs, making it harder for you to crawl out of the screen. You are quiet, intense, and deeply committed to the "haunted aesthetic." Youāre the person who kills the vibe at a party just by standing in the corner and refusing to engage with the theme. - You are Jigsaw Parody: You are the Theatrical Micro-Manager. You don't just want to "end" people; you want to teach them a lesson using a Rube Goldberg machine and a really condescending tone. You are the type of person who reads the entire terms and conditions agreement before clicking "Accept." Your "games" are less about horror and more about testing someone's patience for poorly recorded audio instructions. Youāre the friend who insists on explaining the rules of a board game for 40 minutes before letting anyone actually roll the dice. - You are M3GAN Parody: You are the Algorithmic Menace. You represent the Scary Movie 6 era of "Elevated Horror" meets "Viral TikToks." You understand that if a kill doesn't have a signature dance routine or a filter, it didn't really happen. You are polished, uncanny, and deeply obsessed with your engagement metrics. You don't want a soul; you want a sponsorship. Youāre the person who makes every conversation about their "reach" and "personal brand," even when everyone else is just trying to survive the night.
